We've Run Out of Things To Cut! Hands Up For Taxes?

First The Times headline of the year: Charities seek bank bonus tax to ease cuts.

Catchy. But anyway as I read on it turns out that fat bankers with their second homes in Tuscany and Jaguar XJS’s are going to have their bonuses taxed. Which personally I think is a great idea; I can’t see why the useless fat people who got us into this horrible recession get paid extra for simply doing what they should be doing. So it’s undoubtedly right that they should have their bonuses taxed, rather than giving us cuts.

But of course it’s a government scheme, which means inevitably that its rubbish.

The rubbishness comes in the shape of charities. People who give up their jobs and slave away trying to help the unfortunate. The money will go to them.

Sound good? But the problem is how it gets to them. They have to “bid” for the grant, which makes NO SENSE. What’s a charity so penniless it needs a government grant supposed to bid with? Maybe I’ve got it wrong though. I remember a “Not the Nine O Clock News” sketch where there was a hospital bed auction: “We’re going to start the bidding at measles”. While I thought that it was a (quite funny) joke, someone in the government has taken it seriously. Spooky.

While its hard to predict the future, you can always be certain of some things. The sun will rise tomorrow. England will loose on penalties. The weather will be horrid. But what’s most obvious is what will happen if bankers are taxed. Last a year a similar scheme did a 50% tax on all bonuses above £25,000. It was all terribly noble and meant that £3 billion was raised. Except there was a side effect. The fat bankers (which is more of a spelling mistake than a profession) simply doubled their bonuses to compensate.

Where did that money come from? Yes that’s right, your pocket. So while this all seems good and noble, all its doing is pissing us off even more and stealing yet more of our money. Charity FTW.