The £450,000 Tie

Well on friday i forgot my tie. Christ knows how, but i only realized when on of the uniform commissionars at the front school gate started hammering me for not doing my top button up. I went to my head of house, who was surprisingly calm about it.

"How did you forget your tie??"
"I dunno, incompetence?"
"Thats not incompetence thats forgetfulness"
"..."

So i was asked to give a deposit for the tie. Don't know why i was supposed to give a deposit, maybe she has such a high opinion of things she thinks i'll run off with it. Crazy woman. There was many things i could have given her, there was my ipod, my headphones, my mobile, my memory stick or some coins. But instead, i plumbed for my keys. Which contain a) my front door b) my porch and c) my locker. She gave me the tie, and locked my keys in her desk drawer.

So at the end of the day, I go back to the head of house office to get my bloody keys back. And as only my luck would go, after half an hour of waiting i discover she's caught "An Infection" and had to go home. Taking the desk drawer keys with her.

Bugger.

So I'm outside the head of house office, wearing the equivalent of my house around my neck, dreading the possibility of explaining to my mother how i traded my house keys for a £5 tie, and can't get the keys back until monday.

All options considered, it all looked pretty damn bleak. So after a quick look through the head of house door window to check it was clear i walk in with purpose, to break open the drawer, get the keys back, return the tie and march home victorious. So i open the door... and see 3 other heads of house staring at me.

Panic. But i still used whatever reason i had left, and asked the heads if they knew how to open the damn drawer. After explaining, one of them walked to the desk and had a quick scout for the sacred key. She searched in the pots, in my heads jacket, and looked on the floor and finally... still found nothing. I'm babbling like a lunatic about how much i need the keys, and starting to get the feeling all hope is now finally lost. Until the head has the bright idea to call my head, and ask how to open the drawer.

Full of glee, i wait. Then told to go outside where i'm left for another 10 minutes. By now its 3.30, and i'm really starting to get pissed off. But the searcher-head comes out waggling the keys, takes the tie from me, and retreats back into the safety of her shitty little office. And i go home, victorious.

But thats not the end of the story. The kicker is the worst thing ever. When i recounted this story to my mother, she had only one thing to say.

"Why didn't you get the spare tie out your locker?"

Fml